How to survive Group Projects.

     Have you ever been in class and a as you sit there counting the dots on a particular cieling tile your mind grows tired. You begin to drift into an alluring daze. Yet out of the grey fuzz of your mind you hear two words that send your mind into a fit of terror. You sit up staring at your teacher, you ask yourself. "Did they say what I think they said". They answer is yes. You are about to do a "group project". For those who are unaware. A group project is one where 2-6 people share an assignment usually one person takes charge as a leader. This person tends to do the project. All the while everyone else in the group plasters their name to it having done little to nothing on the project.
     I feel I should add a disclaimer to this particular post. I am aware that not all group projects follow the stereotypes I am about to subject you all to. I have been in groups that have helped and worked together but 90% of my "group projects" went as follows.
     So how do we survive group projects.
Here's how we do it.

     Step 1: Know the strengths of your classmates. If you know that Kara who sits two seats away from you is wicked good at power points then that information will be to your advantage. If you don't want to be stuck doing all the work. If your teacher assigned groups then knowing what each student is good at will help you in deliberation.

     Step 2: If you know that you were placed as an A student with non A students to help their grade (some teachers will do this. They don't like students having to take their classes again.) talk to your instructor. In email, tell the teacher you are concerned that your group wont be of much help and you are afraid you will be doing all the work. Often teachers will respond that you wont need to worry and to try hard on the assignment. Sometimes they will even grade you separately from the group so it wont effect your grade negatively.
     If you tell your teachers in email you could use the email later to dispute a bad grade given to you as a result of your groups participation, or lack there of.

     Step 3:Assign tasks. Don't be afraid to look someone square in the eyes and tell them they are responsible for something. Some people do well once they are told what to do. Divide project equally. No one likes feeling like they have to do more. If however it is required that someone should receive two or more tasks than others in the group properly credit and account for that. Never take credit or let someone else take credit for work they did not do. If someone in the group doesn't pull their weight then alerting your teacher to that is not tattling. It is a rational response so that the teacher can grade appropriately.

     Step 4: If you must meet outside of class time to finish your project make sure you are working in a clean and productive environment (with the exception of any filming you might have to do for a project). Do the best you can to make everyone stay on task.

     Step 5: If the deadline is close and a member of your group hasn't finished their portion of the project then send them friendly totally non life threatening text message daily.  Detailing to them that their time has come, wait, no. Telling them that the project needs done. This will enforce a sense of urgency in your classmate. Also you have proof for your teacher to explain to them the delay or low quality assignment you have turned in.

     Step 6: If you really need the project to be good and you don't want to do it yourself. Enlist in the help of your friends. Use the time to hang out build your relationships and let them help you finish this assignment. Return the favor when they need a study buddy and good luck on that assignment.

     You've done it. You survived a group project with I hope a decent grade to show for it. If after all this you still find yourself doing the majority of the work know that it ultimately is helping prepare you for tasks you will have to accomplish in the workforce.
That, is how you survive a group project,

How to survive "Lost" Homework?

     We've all done it. We've all been awake staring at the blank page of a 6 page essay in MLA/APA format, 12 point times new roman, double spaced, annotated bibliography and 5 sources (not Wikipedia). It's 1am and you just spent the last 24 hours watching the Netflix original series "Stranger Things" eating popcorn out of your backwards hoodie bowl. I'm not judging, I have been there. So how do we survive this disaster forged in our own procrastination.
Here's how we do it.

     Step one: Likely you've had weeks possibly a month do do this. Or like my sister you are in the elite programs of your school that excel in causing students to rip out their own hair which they then use to make hats for their cats.. These programs often encourage teachers to hand out difficult assignments weekly. Now evaluate your situation. Ask three questions; What time is this due? Will the grade of this really hurt me? Lastly, how much does my teacher like me?
      If the answers were "Today", "Yes" and "No" respectively then we will start there. If you still plan to attend the class in which the assignment is due I suggest E-Mailing your teacher before class starts telling them that your computer has malfunctioned and that you will have to email the assignment to them once the problem is resolved. I do not suggest doing this every time. They will catch on.

     Step 2: It is easy to pay someone to write the assignment for you but at great risks. So let's say you are going to pull the dreaded all nighter. Formatting is the first thing to worry about, as often your instructor will worry more about format and grammar than content. They have seen a lot of bad papers so they will worry about your technical skills. Keep that in mind as you write.

     Step 3: Write the introduction and conclusion paragraphs first. This will help you keep in your head a consistent idea for the next few hours of writing. Remember a paragraph consists of 5 to 7 sentences. Try to meet 7 each paragraph (or more) as you are filling space rather than focusing on the information itself.

     Step 4: Find one very good source ( one you can pull tons of info from) and however many other sources you need. Next write your bibliography (annotated or not), this will help you organize the information you will be using. (I really like "easybib.com" for my last minute essays.) Even if you only use one sentence from each source.
     Note: If you use Quotes rather than paraphrases on your paper you will help your mind by working it less for the parts you have to come up with.

     At this point you're possibly thinking, "Wait a second, you're just telling me how to write a paper. I need to know how to get out of writing that paper". To which I respond, "Yes, don't worry I'll get to you".

     Step 5: Motivate yourself. This won't be easy. You know what else isn't easy, binge watching every episode of Naruto. There are like 400+ episodes, how am I supposed to do that? So go on Pinterest (10 minutes only, set a timer if you have to ) and look up ways that you can motivate yourself while studying or doing homework. I like the gummy bear one. The point is to find a way to keep you on task if you need that. Ultimately depending on the size and content of the essay you can whip it out in no time.

     Step 6: If you don't want to do it at all. You need to sleep because you have practice after school or maybe you have friends coming over. Either way, you know in your heart that you can't do the paper and won't, but you really really can't get a 0 on the paper. You can try explaining to your instructor that you really need an extension on the date. Have someone write it for you. Copy and paste from somewhere (seriously don't do that one). Or you can do one simple trick. Hand in a different assignment for another class. When your teacher asks you later about it tell them it was a simple mistake. You have bought yourself time to write it and turn it in later.

     I hope you have completed this terrifying task in your life with ease and with an air of satisfaction. That is how you survive "Lost" Homework.

Surviving the last week of school.

A pure agony comes with the bliss of ending a successful year. You may have more or less friends than when you started. You may have gotten a dramatically different hair cut. In all respects "good for you" I'm sure it was a lot of work, but now it is ending. You're so close, yet so far. So, the question is how do we survive this. Here's how.

     Step 1: Finals. Did I hit a nerve on the top of your head that said "No". I'm sure I did. Finals are terrible. The studying can be endless. So grab an energy drink and sit down with the books. The more you study the easier those finals will be. Play games with it and grab a study group to make it more entertaining. You will learn more if you can explain it to someone else,

     Step 2: Suck up to your teachers for the last week. Even if you don't like them. They control your fate. It's like if you were to buy a bag of chips and the person checking you out was like "Uh NUH UH, You can't buy those" so you sweet talk  till they let you buy the chips. I don't know why they didn't want you to buy the chips but there you go.

     Step 3: Avoid drama in all circumstances. This will make the last few day of school terrifying. You don't want to go last day to "Yeah well Taylor said that Michael said that Brandi said that her third cousin Austin said that you called me dumb." Real mature right? Then you come back first day of school next year to "Yeah I'm not friends with Ashely now because her dog looked at me funny."

     Step 4: If you don't already have the numbers of your friends then you may need to get those. I know that previously I said to eliminate contact, that's only for medium breaks. like spring or fall break. Summer is a different story. That is when you develop your friendship.

     Step 5: Do a little extra house work to get ready for the grade sheet. (If you have bad grades) Your parent(s) will go easier on you. Maybe you'll only be grounded for half the rest of your life. Or like they won't kill you at least.

     Step 6: ENJOY YOUR SUMMER. You've earned it. (I'm serious about cleaning if you have bad grades. I just don't want you to die \(-_-)/ )

And that is how you will survive your last week of school.

Surviving the holidays without your friends

Surviving holidays away from friends.

     We all know the difficulty of leaving your friends during a vacation. Instead of hugging a picture of your dear companion each night like a freaky stalker person I will guide you and teach you how to survive without your friends during a vacation.

     Step one.  Never let you friends see you cry. They may think you're being weird and you will leave an impression in their mind that they will remember you for in the time away from you.

    Step two.  Have absolutely no contact with your friends ( unless you have a significant other). This will cause them to worry about you, think about you, and try to contact you. Showing you just how much they care about you.

    Step three.  If you do decide contact is  necessary then keep it to a minimum. If you don't plan on spending the break with them you might as well make them miss you.

    Step four. Have a small gift exchange for the holidays depending on the holiday (  don't do this for the weekend.  Do it for like a two week break or summer break things like that).

    Step five. Go back to school and watch as your adoring fans (friends) come racing into your arms.You survived by making your trip/break a selfish attempt to higher your self esteem. 👍

    Step six. If you really do feel as though you need your friends to survive and for whatever reason you can't see them or talk to them. Then curl up with that picture you've got hiding under your bed. Maybe you even sprinkled that friends perfume/ cologne on the picture. And it will feel as though you we never apart.

So now you know how to survive leaving your friends for a holiday.

Surviving the first night at your friends house.

How to survive the first night at a friends house.

     Everyone loves the thought of a sleepover. Staying up all night hyped on sugary products. However, what if the night is just you and one other friend, and it's your first night at this particular friend's house? What do you do? You want their family to like you, maybe even more than your friend and you want to have a ton of fun. It's so scary you curl up in your Scooby Doo sleeping bag and stay in a fetal position until your parents tell you that your friend is there to pick you up.
     How do we survive this?
Here's how.

     Step one: First we find the coolest pjs Walmart or any fine retailer has to offer.

     Step two: Then we pack our bags. If you feel nervous just remember there is a reason your friend asked you to come over so they must like your personality. Embrace that aspect of yourself.

     Step three: When you enter your friends vehicle be careful that your shoes are not too dirty.

     Step four: After you have invaded the confines of the house do not sit down. Greet the various members of the family. If they have a dog and that dog is barking at you do not fear the owner will tell you that the dog doesn't bite. The calmer you are the more likely the dog won't be aggressive.

     Step five: If you eat dinner there compliment the food and you will go to your friends room for most likely the rest of the night. Chillax and remember to act silly  or serious or however you feel like acting.

     Step six: You have survived the first night at your friends house, have fun.

And that is how you survive the first night at your friends house.

Surviving neglect from your sports " team".

How to cope with neglect from your sports team.
     Has your " team " made you feel as though you weren't wanted? That you weren't needed? That all you were was someone to order around.
     How do we survive this, here's how.

     Step one. Never go out for a team that doesn't feel like one. Unity on and off the field/court is essential to a winning team. What is more important winning or a team tat you can share happy losses with.

     Step two. If it was after you made the team that it became hostile. Try to ignore the bad feelings. If you can't talk to your coach about it then the best option would be to leave the sport. Even if you love the game there is no point.

     Step three. If the coaches are your main source of hostility. Vent to your friends chances are they can try to understand how you feel.

     Step four. Nothing is more important than how you feel about your team. So
don't let people take advantage of your want to be apart of something bigger than yourself.

     Step five. If you only feel angry around the people you're around. What is the point, however, if you do choose that these are the people you want in your life. Then take a little rubber ball and squeeze it. If that doesn't work throw the ball at the nearest coach/player and pretend it was an accident.

Everything you feel is mental and that will affect you worse in the long run. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.

How to survive an in class stomach growl.

How to survive an in class stomach growl.

     We have all experienced the thunderous crash of an in class stomach growl. When everything is quiet and your body decides that now is the time to unleash the horror of your hidden hunger. The class stares at you, your face begins to redden. You slink backwards Into your chair, making sure not to make eye contact with a single soul.
        How do we survive this.
Here's how.

     Step one. When you rouse from your nightly slumber and your apply your garments. Take a moment to feast on say I don't know a pop tart or an orange. Any sustenance will do for this step.

     Step two. Make sure to place several things in you pocket / school bag. First you will need a pack of gum. Next a granola bar or small snack.

       Step three. When in class you begin to feel hungry. Take out a piece of gum. If it is a flavored gum smell it then after a few moments place it in your mouth. Simulating that you have eaten something. If it is regular mint gum this will possibly make you hungrier. So if you still feel hungry take a small bite of the snack you brought.

      Step four. If your stomach still decides that it truly hates you then you will need a slightly different approach. When the class turns to look at you either stare at your desk or look around the room as if trying to pinpoint the location of the noise.

     Step five. Yay congratulations you have survived a day without minimal embarrassment. The world can now view you as a person that doesn't get hungry. Good for you \(-_-)/.

 And that is how you survive an in class stomach growl.