How to survive ripping your pants (/-\)

How to survive hole  in your pants.                                                                                          

     Have you ever bent over to pick up your notes that you mistakenly  dropped on the floor? When you hear the "rrr" and instantly pull yourself ninja like to an upright position. You quickly but still horror struck reach for you rear end to discover that " yes that did just happen" you ripped your pants. At these moments we wish that we were cartoons. Where a character can rip off their pants to reveal a new perfectly pressed pair of pants. But we aren't so we have to live with these terrible situations. So how do we do it?
     Here is how we do it.

Step one: If your are one of the many who don't bring extra clothing to school then evaluate what you wore. Are you wearing a long shirt, or a jacket to wrap around your waist. Evaluate the type of pants you ripped. If you ripped leggings it is a lot easier to fix than jeans.

     Step two: Discreetly pull your pants up. If the hole is closer to your front pull them up in the front. If closer to the back then pull from the back. Creating a wedgie note : this method will work better with legging type material. With tight jeans this method will pull the fabric apart making the hole appear larger so you will need to pull them down. This will create slack in the material making the hole appear smaller.

     Step three: Don't tell anyone. Don't go over to your friend and say. " Hey I just tore my pants man this is so terrible." no that brings attention to the fact you ripped your pants chances are they won't even notice that you did it.

      Step four: If you have an open lunch. Go to the office call your mom and have her bring you a new pair. ( thank your mother profusely or father or older sibling, gosh you have a large family)

     Step five: If your shirt will cover the hole constantly pull at the ends. You will look awkward in this situation, if someone asks. Tell them your shirt is too short so you need to stretch it out. L

     Step six: The office is your friend. Go to the lost and found and grab an old pair of sweats and ride the rest of the day hole free.

       And that is how to survive a hole in your pants at school.
( yeah I know this one was less funny, but it's a serious matter.)

Surviving the ride to school

Surviving the school bus.  Ride to school.

      Many of us good ole fashion bus riders know that the time between going to school and coming back from school can be one of two things.
     First it could be a time full of laughter and Tom foolery. Or....not. By "not" I mean it could be a stressful half hour of rush homework completion and a time for replenishing stamina.
     For me I need to sleep on the bus or I will have a terrible day at school full of tear jerking yawns. So how do we survive a stressful bus ride.
              Here's how.

  Step one. In the mornings eat an apple or a banana. These foods will help maintain your energy and fuel your brain for that homework you "forgot" that you needed to do.

   Step two. Sit in the quietest spot on the bus ( yeah you might be next to a sleeping kindergartner. But trust me it's better than a teenager who just had a monster energy drink) and buckle down for those precious moments.

    Step three. Do your homework.

    Step four. Give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back . (pat pat)

    Added note : you won't need this if you do your homework in school. ( just saying )

     Step five. In the likely event that you finish before the ride is over then go to sleep (zzzzzzzzz) or hang out with your friends. (sup bro)

     And that's how you survive the ride to school.

Surviving high school lunch.

     Lunch. A place for socialization and daily nourishment ( if you call it that ).  But what if your school has more than one, and your friends aren't in your lunch. What do you do? Who do you sit with? What if your standing in the doorway staring with your mouth open, as you gaze upon the people your brain cant even recognize  as humans?
     What if you have to sit with the worst person in the entire school? And all you want is to take your lunch into the bathroom and cry into your ironic smiley fries? What do you do?
      Here's what you do.

Step one: Purchase your gruel with a smile so large sponge bob would jump out of the water and "face palm" .

Step two: Walk into the lunchroom with you mouth firmly closed and walk with stride. Your display of confidence will be your friend.

Step three: Go over to that person that you don't know but want to sit with and say " Hi do mind if I sit here. " ( Caution if you feel as though you will puke just at the sight of this person's awesomeness you should start with someone a little less cool.)

Step four: In the unlikely event that you fail, promptly turn around laughing as though everything you said was a joke but not obnoxiously. Find an empty table and sit. If you have a phone then at your own discretion ( depending on your school rules and your responsibility in following said rules.) Pretend to text.

     That is how you survive lunch with no friends.